The Lucky Ones

Long Long day!  ahh

Reading about a friend on fb's husband going through his 2nd brain surgery is killing me.  It's killing me.  How can I not think of my husband in the other room and when will we have to go through that? Or will we?  GEEEZ!!! How?!  I want to talk to Ben and I want to know where his head is.  I am so scared. 

On a side note: I went to a love and logic thing at school tonight, common sense advice on how to talk to your kids. When it comes down to it, it is up to me to change.  To keep my temper in check and not enable her. One day she'll have to live her life and I can't do it for her.  LIFE!  I'm going to work on this! 

So Then I went to a PTO meeting, while they are good people and I know they mean well. I just can't get behind raising money for a new playground.  It isn't important.  How can I sit there and feel like AR goals and this and that are sooo important.  When my daughter thinks about losing her dad daily, reading books for points isn't on her list. She loves to read, so I'm not worried, she's really smart and does well when she applies herself.  I encourage her to do her best, but in the end it is up to her to do what she will.  I don't know.  Shaking my head.  They take themselves so seriously and it's not that important period.  ha It makes me laugh and then my mind froze for the rest of the meeting when someone mentioned May 1st. You know when your mind starts racing thinking why is that date important? OH yeah...Ben's getting an MRI on May 1st.  Geez.  How can I think of PTO crap after that? I can't.  I didn't.  sigh

It's a rough f'n week for my mind.  I think the things going on around me or online to people I care about is really getting to me.  It makes it harder to be in denial over our own problems.  I do think some people don't have these kind of problems...lucky ducks!  They are the lucky ones.