I can do what I can

Sometimes I can't be everything to everyone.
Right now my husband is fighting for his life literally.
He's showing new symptoms and ignoring it.
The stress there is do I call the Dr. or do I respect his wishes and listen to him.
It's always on me.
His mom would call.
And expects me to, cuz it could be something they can fix and might kill him.
So I should call.
But he asked me not to.
Well he said he wants me to listen to him.
And that I could call.
So while I'm being strong or barely able to be strong for him and our daughter and myself to take care of everything in our life.
I might not be able to be there for friends.
Even if they are going through something equally horrible.
I am not being selfish.
I have to save my strength for him.
I shouldn't feel badly.
They have support.
We don't have a lot of support.
Most people don't know what we are going through.
But if I needed help I would ask.
This isn't something anyone could help me on anyway.
I'm just that way.
I want help but will never ask.
Help as in someone please tell me what I should be doing.
How do I care for my 34 year old husband fighting brain cancer?