On August 7th it was any normal Friday night. Ben got home from work at 4:40pm...I hadn't been feeling good, planning on getting this poisoned gallbladder out soon...I had been laying down and didn't fix dinner for the first time in forever!!! Ben worked on his mom's friends truck til late. Came in we talked a bit he crashed cuz he had to get up and work on Sat morning for OT. I woke up at 3am to him sitting up in bed, I thought he was going to get sick, and he said what's going on? And by time I put the light on, he had thrown his body off the bed and fell in between the bed and wall and starting seizing. I didn't know what to do, I was tired enough to NOT panic. I ran to the phone called 911.
He's 32, never had any health issues at all. Why was this happening?
I had them take him to our nearest hospital down the street. So scared and worried and in shock! He was out of it. The seizure had lasted quite awhile.
My mother in law was the next call. The police officer drove me to my daughter's friends house and she was safe until I found out what was going on.
I met my mother in law in the hospital...they had NO clue what had happened. By then he had woken up and kept repeating himself wow what happened? I was so scared.
He then got a scan of his head. They told us there is something there but didn't know what. He needed to be transferred to a bigger hospital for an MRI. So that is what we did. Thankfully my brother drove up 30 minutes got Willow, our daughter and between his family and my mom they watched her for us. We went to the big hospital. They put him on seizure med called "Dilantin". So far in shock so it hadn't hit me yet.
LONG time waiting on Dr.s and tests...all was ok...except they told us he has a brain tumor. A WHAT???? WHAT? WHAT? I felt like someone hit me over the head. I started bawling. Ben froze. His mom, works at a Cancer center...knowing too much...she started to cry. The Dr. told us he needed surgery right away...if he didn't he might have a year to live. It was in his right temple region in his brain and it went in deep. So if he was careful he'd get the more aggressive part out and do what he could. But the biggest risk is he could be paralyzed on his left side. Where it is, it wouldn't affect many things cuz those are on the other side of his head. I knew there were many more bad risks but you can't drive yourself crazy.
You don't know the right questions to ask. You can't process or have time to if you could. I didn't want to upset Ben so I didn't ask him a bunch. We knew what needed done...he came home and we had a "normal" night with our daughter. Hoping he'd wake up and know us. We went in to the hospital at 4:30am...surgery was at 8, 6 hours later...he was out...and in critical care unit. Very strict rules to visit...I couldn't stay in his room.
When we finally got to see him he was sitting in his bed. He looked normal. Besides a large 8 inch cut on the side of his head and many staples. He moved around very much in pain and confused. Sick. He looked at me and said Autumn, see I know who you are. He said hi to his mom. He acted so normal. He was him. While I felt relieved...I felt that same rush hit on the head feeling and I had to sit down...it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to leave the room. I went down to the bathroom and a weeks worth of pain and fear poured out of me. I cried so hard. I felt at that moment I can't do this. I can't lose him. I can't. I had a bad panic attack.
I called my mom and let it out. I love him so much. I've loved him for 16 years half my life. We had plans. We just had a horrible year of unemployment and losing everything and starting over and getting on our feet we were happy for a short while. and now this.
In shock. So scared. Everyone has rallied behind us...and is helping us. He can't work so we are in NO income zone. We have NO insurance...no money. If shock and denial didn't exist for us we'd have lost our minds.
So now he's healing. He's uncomfortable...in pain...sick. Had another seizure days later after his surgery and now has a new and very expensive medicine...on top of the others. The pain med doesn't take it all away. I can't sleep or leave him alone so afraid he'll have another seizure...and hurt himself or wake up someone else.
Living a nightmare...everything is not the same.
I love this man and can't even describe how I feel to see him go through this...and we are just beginning! I want him to live a long life but I know deep down...
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