Monday it is a new day

Long ass week last week! Can't believe I made it through alive. But here I sit. Spent a lot of time with others and strangers. My mind needs a break. I need to relax. I dream of a hot tub and candle light soft music etc. :)

I need a girl's trip!

I just started selling Thirty-One. I sold AVON in the past and I found that the company sells to the consultant more than customers. lol Well they are smart! Cuz that shit is cute. And if we do this or that we get deals or freebies>"feebies". Nothing is free. But going into it with the idea if I sell I could make some cash. That appeals to me. I need some of that cash! I'd rather have cash and do work knowing I"m going to get it too! 

We live off of SS disability since 2011. Brain cancer u can suck it! Ruining our life that way. Lots of people have cancer and work. Ben was/is a diesel mechanic...so the posibility of a seizure. He can't drive here and there on and off so yeah that job or career was over the day he had his first seizure. He can still mentally do it. But after 6 months of short term disability they let him go, by letter btw thought that  was nice. lol But we were thankful they did donated to us to help us out. So that was awesome. 

But now we live at the rate of an average of what he made from age 16-32...which we were always striving for that more money career thing. He got it once and got laid off. Thank you shitty economic system of ours. That was devastating. It was like since then shit has just kept sliding down that shitty slide of life. down down down

It's really hard to talk about our life and not sound like a Debbie Downer! ya know! Seriously I find myself annoying myself that is bad. But I think I've just gotten sick of pretending I'm not sad or mad! I am. I'm embracing it. 

Watching people around me in their different lives..knowing whatever they choose to show us. It's very interesting to me. 

So let's try this honestly what is great about my life:

Friends
Daughter
I supposed husband :P at times...miss him so much tho
College
Home school is very rewarding!/challenging
my pets make me happy


I need a DRAMA free zone. Who the hell bugs a sick person with stupid shit? Who does that?! Uncaring people. Selfish annoying people. More worried about how things affect them and don't even consider that the other person is going through something right now that you couldn't understand at all ever! :(

I swear I was just saying not that I'm a violent person but I miss the days that you could get into a good old fashioned fist fight and not worry about getting arrested for battery! lol :P

There are people in this world that need a punch in the face!

Maybe I am having anger issues LOL oh friggin well. I'll work on it!

So we have to get ready to go to Ben's Dr appt for his chemo. They do labs and then if they are okay he'll get chemo to stop the tumor in his brain from growing, even I can't wrap my mind around this bullshit! It's not normal. And it does suck. 

Gotta go.            

My list as of right now

Whether or not it's the Holiday stuff or what. But this is my list right now. And I'm hoping to figure out how to de-stress! haha

Today: Executing a double bday party for two 8 year old girls. I'm all ready to go just have to pick up cake and finish up putting things out. 
Peeling pototoes for Hopedale Helps for their soup lunch tomorrow(fundraiser for families fighting cancer) (www.facebook.com/hopedalehelpsacs)

Tomorrow:HH soup Lunch (made and need to make more corn muffins, helping set up and serve)
Then off to my very first Thirty-One Spring Premiere. Kind of excited about this. Part of me wants to dive right in and sell sell sell. Another part of me wants to be laidback and do what I will when I will. :P I only have to sell 200 every 3 months to remain active. So that shouldn't be an issue. I'm hoping to make some extra money with it all. ? We will see.

Monday: Ben has an appt with his oncologist/NP for his monthly LABS & chemo. bleh
Figuring out Willow's lessons for the week(probably should do this on Sunday)

Rest of week: Final for my one class, return books and get new ones! :) Excited to have a break, I couldn't imagine going full time! 
Dr. appt with Cardio about my maybe White Wolf Parkinson syndrome(my heart beats fast)
Getting Wil's haircut
Friends bday gift
baking for HH bake sale 

Neverending. I feel stressed and need a break but the days fly by.

I have a referral with a counselor. Partly ready to go another part is worried that we won't click. :/ I don't know if I could feel comfortable enough to really be honest. :( That would truly be nice. 

So this is my one week in time. Making the most of it as well as driving myself crazy! haha      



 
 

new page

turning a new page today. I've been obsessed with fb. I use it to it's fullest. As well as living on it talking with people. It takes over my life. today a few things happened where I questioned what am I doing?!

so if I need to vent I'm venting here now and on my husband's caring bridge page. focusing on my real life!